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Dear Mom and Dad.
So, you wouldn’t believe the semester that I have had. Everything was running quite smoothly, and of course I was making straight A’s. That wasn’t hard at all considering I was valedictorian and high school was a breeze. Anywho, like I was saying everything was going well until October when the cockroaches began to show up. They weren’t that big of a deal at first, but for some reason or another they just keep coming and growing in size. Studying soon became very difficult as they grew smarter and began to overthrow the St. Edwards community. At this point I gave up on school work all together battling the ever growing cockroaches! There was a small resistance of us that learned to live off of the pre packaged food in Ragsdale. We prepared for battle the other day and I lost a lot of good men out there, but I think they are starting to get the idea that we are not giving up grounds! So the battle has been going on for days and days not and all I can think to do is drop out of school. Really if I’m not gaining an education from this school and I have to fight giant smart cockroaches on a daily basis I really don’t think this is the place for me. Your money is just being wasted for me being here and there is a chance that I could die every day. Okay well I love you guys and will wait for your reply for me to come home!
~Amy

Dear Amy,
Nice try I suppose, but first and foremost you know that we know that you are a compulsive liar and this has got to be one of your worst lies ever. Okay now I would like to remind you that in high school you were most certainly not valedictorian of Lake Travis and you did send us a copy of your grades about a month ago. Amy I know that college can be hard, but trying to make up yet another of the crazy lies really won’t help you at all. Also I’m not sure if you are completely aware of this, but this story is nearly identical to your last story except last time it was grasshoppers, If you really feel you want to come home that’s fine, but last time we let you “drop out” you were home for a week told us you develop an allergy to the cat we had just gotten. Now really I don’t know what you are trying to get at with these wild giant bug stories, but it is really time to just suck it up and take it as it comes. Also the lying really needs to stop I know we have been saying g this since you were ten but you are a college girl now and your lying isn’t getting your anywhere. Well we can’t wait to see you for Christmas but it will not be a percent move home. Love you and have fun fighting cockroaches and other miscellaneous bugs,

~Mom and Dad